There are many ideas currently turning over for Vaughan Baker, but my time and presence has turned towards motherhood – to nurturing and nourishing our daughter. At times this drastic and immediate shift in my focus can be very challenging. The lack of time and energy for my own projects something I have never before experienced. Daily I am being taught to slow down, to have patience, and that I do not need a comprehensive ‘to do’ list to tick off in order to feel accomplished. I do not always nail this, and am still working through the process of saying goodbye to characteristics of my former self, and learning to accept and love the new role I have and the person it is making me. At times so fulfilling, at others so foreign.
Before we had our daughter I always held the perception that you shouldn’t change when you have kids. That for the most part, they should fit into your lives. And this is still true, to some extent, however for a great part of it, it is not. How can you not change when your body has undergone such a huge physical act as creating, birthing and feeding a newborn – it is mind blowing. And how can you not be altered when your whole heart and understanding of love is shifted by the immense emotional roller coaster of meeting and getting to know another part of yourself, your partner and your child. I am, we are, undeniably changed for the better, but saying goodbye and learning who you are again is not always easy. There are things I miss, notably my independence and ability to work on and execute ideas.
In reaction to this and with an open mind, it is becoming obvious that my output for Vaughan Baker must adapt. My visual consumption and ideas are fruitful at the moment, but my time for execution sparse. Today, over a needed cup of coffee, I thought about my mindset. My husband recently bought a jumper with the letters PMA on it – a reference from a Bad Brains song, standing for Positive Mental Attitude. I have tried applying this outlook this morning, and rather than feeling frustrated by my lack of ‘me/business time’, why not alter the work to something that is achievable and enjoyable, and in time allow it to unfold into something more when the time is right. With this said, for now Vaughan Baker will become more of a platform to record ideas and visual inspirations that will make way for a stronger aesthetic, story and product collection in the future.
Our lives are constantly flowing, constantly in a state of change and flux, why should business be any different? I used to have the idea that things needed to be very set and standardised, but if Motherhood is teaching me anything, its that the key to it all is to let go of any preconceived ideas of who we are, what we do . . . and when we are going to do it.
Image Source: Pinterest, artist unkown